If you’ve ever thought, “man, I wish I could be on this show” while staring blankly back at your slobbery reflection during another 10-hour Netflix binge, now’s your chance.
A new Netflix-themed game, created by the company itself, will give you just that. The game, played on a pixilated old-school arcade, gives you the option of playing as Narcos frontman Pablo Escobar, Marco Polo (self explanatory there), Orange Is the New Black‘s insufferable Piper Chapman, or Stranger Things’ heroic Mike Wheeler. It might have been nice to play as a character who isn’t a felon or about to be murdered maybe (hello, Kimmy Schmidt!), but we’ll take what we can get.
Each character produces their own level in which your goal is to run as far as you can, using the spacebar to jump over obstacles and catch boosts.
Pixels make them look so much nicer than the felons they are. Photo courtesy of Netflix.
Bet you never thought you’d actually be looking for cocaine!
Pablo Escobar’s level will take you into the midsts of the jungles of Colombia, jumping for drugs while avoiding the police. Enough of the white stuff and you’ll have enough power to run straight through obstacles. (This is not how drugs work, folks.) If you’re playing as Piper Chapman on the other hand, your cellmates will come and fight your obstacles for you. This might be more realistic, unless you’re Piper Chapman because I’m not sure she’s retained any friends in prison at this point.
The illusive prison chicken is now yours to catch. Photo courtesy of Netflix.
Although running from the demogorgon might up your stress level while you wait for season two, it’ll give you something to do while you waste away in front of your screen watching the 15-second countdown before you inevitably catch just one more episode.
Shout out to Netflix for knowing our true nature.
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