Well. If there’s one thing to be said about episode 9 of Scream Queens, it’s that I immediately knew I was going to regret everything when I saw the title was “Ghost Stories.”
Boone aka Nick Jonas — aka Joaquin Phoenix — aka Everyone On This Campus Is Stupid His Beard Could Not Be More Fake But I Guess With Murders Happening Who’s Actually Getting An Education Anyway — makes plans with his other accomplice to take out Gigi, but is spotted by Chanel #3, who thinks he’s a ghost. Hey guess what! Boone’s not dead. He’s not gay. He’s not in love with Chad.
Oh, and he’s one of the babies.
Also, he’s dead. Well, now he is.
The last night in the house before the campus-wide evacuation is creating high tensions. Chanel is planning to go to Chad’s Hampton home for Thanksgiving, but everyone else is deep in panic. Denise tries to calm them down with ghost stories thinking it’ll take their minds off things. It doesn’t. Denise is almost killed in the bathroom, but she gives the Red Devil a swirly. Chanel #5 decides it’s time to promptly “GTFO.” Hester is intrigued. What else is new?
Boone sneaks through Zayday’s window and tries to ask her on a date because why not, but Grace finds them both and then Boone falls out the window. Somehow he isn’t hurt and he manages to put his Red Devil costume back on, kill Zayday’s British BF (wonderfully named Earl Grey), sneak into Chanel #5’s car, try to kill her at a gas station and instead murder an innocent Adderall-high truck driver and make it back home for the night.
Excuse me, what?
Dean Munsch arrives with the police as per protocol and promptly fires them after they say their first lead is a ghost. She then confirms to Zayday and Grace that the babies in the tub were a set of twins — boy and girl — and that Boone is one of them. She saw the other girl in the room take them and knows nothing else.
Back at the Red Devil compound or whatever cool name they have for their murder house, Boone and his still-masked sister plan to kill Gigi — except only Boone really plans to kill Gigi. Whoops. Boone, who discusses the pains of living in an institution, starving as a child and spending his life preparing for Gigi’s master revenge plan, is stabbed by his sister instead.
In other news, Hester convinces Chad that she’s pregnant with his baby, so Chanel pushes her down the house stairs and breaks her ever cared-for neck.
So here’s what we know now:
The last Red Devil is a girl. It isn’t Zayday, because Boone was pursuing her and that would be gross and would also not make sense. It isn’t Denise because math. It’s not the Dean because also more math.
Thank god for math! Who would’ve thought?
That leaves Grace, Chanel, Chanel #3, Chanel #5 and Hester. Chanel #3 thinks her father is Charles Manson, so that might be open to interpretation, though she’s consistently been around during the Red Devil encounters and was frightened by ghost-Boone. Grace is super sneaky and also really has cause to believe she’s the baby, so maybe it’s her. But why would she confront Gigi? Seems less plausible.
Hester is incredibly unhinged. Definitely capable of murdering her own twin brother and being obsessed with Gigi. But she’s dead now, so there’s also that. The Red Devil has chased Chanel #5 numerous times, so she seems less likely. It could be great acting though.
Grace and Chanel seem the most likely targets at this point. Wes still has information we aren’t quite catching and Grace did want to stay on an abandoned campus for Thanksgiving. Chanel is, how many times can I say it, a sociopath and technically also a murderer in her own individual right.
The battle of the antagonist vs. the protagonist (or maybe it’s vice versa?) begins.
Am I missing something? Someone let me know. Please. Help me.